Coffee Bliss amidst Rolling Blackouts

One of the issues that I firmly believe is keeping the Dominican Republic as a country from taking that next step in economic development is their chronic electricity shortage.

Now what does this have to do with coffee? Everything.

In all of my time here in the Dominican Republic I have never seen a fresh-milk latte. Never. And those who know me know that I sniff out coffee shops like a crackwhore finds smack. (I KNOW, so not PC Claire) but I can find me a good café anywhere. For the first few months I lived here I was elated every time I saw a "café con leche" on the menu – only to inevitably send it back as the milk tasted spoiled. It wasn't until a friend who had a little more time in the country than me tasted my rejected latte and said "Claire, that's not spoiled – its just box milk" that I had to face the reality that one of my core food groups and simple pleasures in life, would not be accessible in the DR.

As with anything in life – there are gradients. Here, powdered milk is extremely common and a staple food for most Dominican children as they much away on their morning "cornflays." One step up from that is the infamous "box milk;" milk that has been UHT (Ultra-heat-treated) and converted to a stable substance that needs no refrigeration and who's shelf life is probably longer than most people's Christmas fruitcakes. This is a brilliant alternative for families that want milk amidst rolling blackouts, but it's quite inadequate for lattes.

After over 8 months in the Dominican I had all but given up hope on delighting in a cup of "reminds me of home" until one day at the supermarket I noticed the worlds smallest section of refrigerated goods. There, like soldiers in quart size cartons, stood three items: heavy whipping cream, whole milk and 2% milk. Like a mirage of an oasis in the desert – I didn't believe my eyes. My roommate and I picked up the cartons, inspected them – noticing that the majority looked a little worse for the wear, and reading the label added another abbreviation to our vocabulary for "tainting the pure." LL stands for long life and is another method used in the pasteurization and preservation of milk. Thankfully, this milk isn't taken up to the infernal temperatures as box milk is – and still retains the majority of its original properties. So I decided to give it a try.

Which brings us to this morning. It's Saturday and if there's one thing I that delight in on Saturdays its laboring of the perfect cup of coffee and sitting down with a good book to enjoy it. And that's exactly what I did.

Software: Dominican Santo Domingo coffee, raw sugar, and LL 2% milk

Hardware: Grecca (small Italian style percolator), camping cup, jar

I brewed the coffee in my grecca (which comes out quasi espresso like, except with fuller flavor), heated the milk in my camping cup – then transferred it to the jar where I tried my best to "froth" it. Then I just combined it in my American mug with a little raw Dominican azucar and voila! Saturday morning bliss.

Now, listening to myself talk – I do sound a little particular and demanding, I mean come on Claire, you're living in a developing country! But for anyone who's lived abroad, there are always those little experiences that connect your seemingly two separate lives (home and abroad) and remind you that you're still the same person regardless of what continent you reside on.

For me – it helps me remember not to negate the Claire that many stateside friends know and love. It reminds me to not beat myself up when I feel like I haven't "assimilated" enough into my host culture – because they reality is that, I am and will always be gringa. It's also a moment for me to reflect and be profoundly thankful to my Lord – for the blessings he has bestowed upon me, that I have the resources to buy quasi-fresh milk – and live in a neighborhood where the power grid is decent.

All this wrapped up in a comforting cup of milk, coffee and sugar – makes Claire a happy bear.

Sabbath and Shalom

Streams of mercy never ceasing call for songs of loudest praise...Oh to Grace how great a debtor daily i'm constrained to be, let thy goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to thee, grown to wander Lord i feel it, grown to leave the God i Love, here's my heart Lord take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.

A perfectly fresh winter day in my Caribbean home, a place that makes me thank every cool breeze that blows through my window – light streaming through this blessing of an apartment. Yet my room is cluttered with proof that I've been on the road for the past two weeks, half unpacked suitcase, weeks of dirty laundry and homeless books scattered everywhere. The many things that scream my name and demand my attention before our Superbowl party tonight, are all blissfully put aside today. I am learning to delight in the Sabbath.

Many have commented on my work habits here in the DR – most well intentioned and concerned that I will burn out; but I love what I do.

In my first few weeks in the DR weekends were a terrible thing. I had come here to work and learn and experience and the week was a gloriously challenging beast where I was stretched and tested and relied on, but the weekends were deadly quiet with time to meditate on my geographic location and that silence frightened me. Missing people and places is painful and I made up my mind it was better to keep busy, to keep pushing those sad thoughts further away by constantly filling up my plate with work, tasks - responsibilities. I wanted my fulfillment to come from something close, something I could control – not relationships that were distant and painful at times because I couldn't commune as I'd like, coffee shops, farmer's markets, Shelter island dates, etc.

Somewhere around fall of last year all of that extra work I'd put on myself, the pressure, the drive combined with my daily devotions of "My Utmost for his Highest" got to me – and I threw in the towel. I was tired of feeling like I never measured up. Tired of having Oswald point out everyday where I fell short. I was TRYING didn't that count for anything? So I tossed him under my ambitious pile of other books to read – wagging my finger at him – that I wouldn't return until I could feel better about myself after reading him.

I came back to the DR in January with the daunting task of being the most experienced person in my department, yet feeling so lost and overwhelmed with the tasks at hand. I was frustrated that managers were in short supply and the assumption that I was the answer to that structural abyss for the time being. Then on January 12^th the earthquake that devastated Port-au-Prince, brought a whole new dimension to my job.

What I would have given for someone else to take charge, someone with more experience, wisdom, skills.

And that brings us to this morning. This morning I woke up to no alarm, this is the first true Sabbath I have had in a very long time. Usually my "sabbaths" are tainted with boredom and a mild depression because I feel useless, worthless – I'm not being productive.

I resonate so deeply with this quote from Rob Bell's life:

"I realized that my life was all about keeping the adrenaline buzz going and that I was only really happy when I was going all the time. When I stopped to spend a day to remember that I am loved just because I exist, I found out how much of my efforts were about something I already have." (p.117)

"Jesus wants to heal our souls, wants to give us the shalom of God. And so we have to stop. We have to slow down. We have to sit still and stare out the window and let the engine come to an idle. We have to listen to what our inner voice is saying." (p.118)

So here I am, stopped or at leasing rolling to one. Today God has illuminated to me my unhealthy addiction to chaos. I crave being needed in a hectic work environment until I realize that I have overcommitted and that I am over my head. I have spun myself with so much work I realize that there is little of value and substance inside me. I have been afraid of introspection for some time with good reason – there's not much to examine.

I praise God for this glorious breeze and this messy room that I might just leave until tomorrow, I thank him for no agendas and commitments today – for this breath of fresh air amidst a crazy schedule. I love you Lord.

"I'm learning that very few people actually live from their heart. Very few live connected with their soul...They are so different; they're coming from such a different place that their voices inevitably get heard above the others. They are pursuing wholeness and shalom, and it's contagious. They inspire me to keep going. (p.120)

[note: Bell describes Shalom as "the presence of the goodness of God. It's the presence of wholeness, completeness."]